Wellness
The Science of Shared Experience: Why Doing Things Together Feels So Good
We often treat hobbies and social plans as extras, something for when there’s time. Research on social connection suggests they’re closer to basic maintenance.
If you’ve been feeling flat lately, you might not need a nap. You might need an afternoon with other people, doing something.
What the research says
In 2023 the U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, that brought the evidence together (read it here). A few findings stand out:
- About half of U.S. adults say they have experienced loneliness.
- Americans spent about 20 minutes a day with friends in person in 2020, down from about 60 minutes nearly two decades earlier.
- The advisory compares the health risk of lacking social connection to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
The takeaway isn’t that one coffee fixes everything. It’s that regular, in-person time with other people matters, and most of us are getting less of it than we used to.
Why doing beats talking
For many people, social anxiety comes from the pressure to talk. “What do I say? Am I being boring?”
That’s why Sodalit is built around activities, not dates. When attention is on a third thing, like a ball, a movie screen or a chessboard, the pressure eases and conversation has room to happen on its own.
“Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” — Swedish proverb
The accountability effect
There’s a practical benefit to finding a partner on Sodalit: it’s much harder to skip.
When you plan a workout alone, cancelling only lets yourself down. When someone is waiting for you at the gym, you go. Most of us find it far harder to let someone else down than ourselves, and showing up for someone else gets you to show up for yourself.
Your plan for this weekend
Stop treating your social life as a luxury.
- Download Sodalit.
- Pick an activity that gets you moving or focused: sports, hiking and live music work well.
- Post it, or join one nearby.
- Go do it.
You might be surprised how much lighter Monday feels.
